It has been almost a year since my husband and I became host home providers to our student, Katya [name changed for privacy], through the Second Home program. I was previously familiar with the program and understood the impact and importance it has had on the lives of unaccompanied homeless youth, yet I never thought I would become a volunteer host myself.
So, when my husband approached me about the opportunity in the winter of 2022, I was hesitant. I felt skeptical that we would be able to successfully host a youth who needed support to get by in life. I had some preconceived notions that in order to make a “good” host, I needed to have lots of wealth to spare, more experience dealing with potential trauma sensitivities, and the emotional capacity to “deal” with a teenager and all the baggage I thought they might bring with them. Even with these doubts at the forefront of my mind, I decided to move forward with the process and took a leap of faith. And now I’m so glad I did!
As with all new relationships, the first few months weren’t the easiest. There was a period of awkward, getting-to-know-you vibes. I learned quickly about the importance of communicating directly, making the implicit more explicit, and asking questions with an approach of curiosity while not making assumptions or judgments.
Katya’s first language is not English, and so we have become savvy with using technology to communicate. This has also provided us opportunities to share about our respective cultures and languages; Katya teaches us just as much as we teach her.
The worries I first had about the emotional and financial impact hosting a student would have on us have subsided. Hosting Katya has taught me to deal with fluctuating human emotion. Our individual journeys come with all sorts of baggage, but it’s easier to deal with them when you have a support system to process together. She has good days and bad days, just like the rest of us. I’m so grateful to Second Home for helping us get Katya connected with various mental health resources, so that she feels supported holistically. And when it comes to the financial impact of hosting a youth, it has taught me and my husband to simply be a little more savvy with our budget, as we identify where we can cut back a little bit in order to support Katya on her way to financial independence.
Some of the best memories from this past year with Katya include taking her to her first MLB baseball game, shopping with her for a high school graduation outfit, celebrating her as she successfully graduated high school, traveling with her on a West Coast road trip, watching her try new foods and like them, encouraging her as she tried golfing and bowling for the very first time, celebrating new holidays together, watching her decorate our Christmas tree, sharing about our hopes and dreams for the future, and seeing the smile on her face when she tried snowboarding for the first time.
Has the past year been easy? No. Has it been rewarding, inspiring, eye-opening and filled with moments of joy? Absolutely! I never thought I could do the work of opening my home to a stranger—let alone a teenager—and make a positive difference in their life. I’m so proud of my husband and myself for diving in, taking a chance, being able to recognize all that we have to offer, and allowing Second Home and our incredible youth, Katya, to be such a big part of our lives.
Learn more about Second Home at emo-secondhome.org.
Abigail (Abbie) Barash (she/her) is the associate director of field operations for OneTable, a national nonprofit that empowers folks to find, share and enjoy Shabbat dinners. Abbie earned a Master of Divinity, Interfaith Chaplaincy, from Claremont School of Theology.
